2012 The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly...

Traditionally I have written a "Top 10" post to round out the year. A list with pictures of my family's best moments, vacations, etc to show you all just what we have been up to (2010 and 2011)

Well...I'm going to be perfectly honest. 2012 was rough. And that's an understatement.

I was very reluctant to link up the 2010 and 2011 posts from my old blog...because as I look back on them my "best of" moments were actually not very good at all. Things were very hard for me in Chicago, and I played it all off like life was good and we were a happy little family with our 2 pups and life was just swell.

 The Ugly:
If you have been following me, you know that it was not. My VERY BEST moment of 2012...

Leaving Chicago. This was the single most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. It was the easiest decision I have ever made, but it was not easy to do. Does that even make sense? My marriage was over LONG before I left, but I was scared...terrified even, to leave. It is something that I cannot even begin to describe to you. Maybe one day.
All I know is that I am stronger, smarter, happier and have never felt more alive than I do now. Being HOME with the people who love and care about me has never felt so good.

Aside from leaving my husband and loosing my home, I also left behind and AMAZING job in Chicago. I could not have been any happier than I was in that position. My boss taught me everything I know about Cardiology and gave me the skills that made it possible for me to take the position that I am in now. He and his wife also were so generous to me during my struggle after leaving, and I can never thank them enough for that.


The Bad:
In the midst of picking up the pieces of my life, I lost one of the most influential and important people in it. My Ma. I'm 28 and until August 6th had all four of my grandparents living. I have lost a few friends, but never someone extremely close.

She has been slowly slipping away from us, body and mind, for the last 5-7 years, but that never makes it any easier. I still called her every Sunday and answered her as she repeated the same questions and reminded her of day-to-day details that were sometimes fuzzy to her.

She was the epitome of a Southern lady. Always dressed to the nines. She loved all animals, the Redskins, and her family...especially her grandchildren.

She died on a Tuesday morning at quarter to six. I cried all the way to work, and still do some days. I miss her like crazy. Her funeral was beautiful, just as she would have wanted it.

My Daddad is doing OK. At 85 he really has no physical or mental restrictions and is enjoying things that he has not been able to do for years because so lovingly has been caring for Ma. I've called him and found him to be out metal detecting, gardening, fishing, on skype with his brother or reading a book She died 2 months before their 63rd wedding anniversary. I can only hope to find love like that.

The Good:
Finally...enough of this depressing crap!!
Despite my emotional train wreck, some good things DID happen in 2012! Being in Chicago for the last 4 years, it KILLED me to be away from friends and family. Coming back home meant just that...being HOME.
Two of the very first people I rushed to go see (aside from Mom, Dad, Erin and Hannah!) were of course, Aron and Jason...my dudes, my stinkers, my main men.

Aron and Jason have been through a lot this year as well. Their dad is one of my very best friends, and I'm happy to say that 2012 brought him:
1. A final divorce from their mother (sounds bad, but is a very good thing)
2. A marriage to Gioia (yay!)
3. A beautiful new home
4. The birth of the boy's brother!!

Meet Jackson...he melts me <3

 Just after my grandmother died, I got some new ink...my cousin (well...2nd cousin, once removed) Brian did it. Through some genealogy research, Brian found us on facebook and had been communicating with my aunts, dad, myself etc. He is an accomplished tattoo artist and I am VERY lucky to call him my cousin. He is still working on it, so I do not have a picture...but stay turned for the end result as well as before and after shots, as this is a cover up job!

Oscar has THRIVED since we moved back home. I was initially very worried about him being away from Lyla, since they had been pretty much joined at their cute little doxie hips since they were 6 months old.
Separating them was not ideal, but that is what had to happen, and there was no way in hell that Kurt was going to keep Oscar up there, so that is the compromise that I made.
Since coming to Virginia, he has:
1. Lost a pound (That's a lot for a little dog! And ideal weight  for him!)
2. Learned to safely navigate up and down stairs (He NEVER did stairs before, had to be carried)
3. Continued to ring his jingle bell on the back door to go outside, and even "taught" some of the other dogs to do the same
4. Gotten to sleep in bed with Momma (Never could before, because Lyla could not be trusted

I signed on to be an Independent Creative Partner with Initials Inc. in November. I've already earned some extra money and free product. I like that I have the freedom to work as much or as little as I want to, and hope to continue to do well with this. With a little slice of luck, I can do well enough with this to cut down on my hours at work and be able to go back to school!

That was a hella long post, but its been a hella long year.
Happy New Year!!

Thankful...

I was totally into the 30 days of Thanks on Facebook, until I landed in the hospital just before Thanksgiving. Having a headache for 15 days and being on IV pain medication makes on a little less thankful and even more importantly...less able to write facebook posts that make any sense, so I ended it there.
But I did keep them all on a document so that I could share them on my blog, because I really and truly DO have so many things to be thankful for....

My Facebook (almost) 30 days of thanks:

November 1. I am thankful for my amazing parents. Without them I would not be who I am today. I would not have had the strength to put one foot in front of the other, from my very first steps, to the most difficult of times, especially in the last 9 months.

November 2. I am thankful for my grandmother, my Ma. She passed away on August 6. I am so blessed to have had 28 years with her. She was an amazing example of strength, creativity and love. Not a day goes by when I don't think about her, and smile. I know that she is resting peacefully and watching over all of us, smiling that beautiful Trumbo smile of hers :)

November 3: I am thankful for Erin Briner. I was blessed with a sister when I was 20 months old, so I've pretty much never known life without her. Her smart ass mouth and hilarious views sometimes frustrate me, but also make me laugh until my stomach hurts sometimes. She fights harder in one day than most people do in their whole lives, and I love her for it.

November 4: I am thankful for my beautiful, hilarious, intelligent, creative, smart mouthed, baby sister, Hannah. Despite out differences, and the fact that she once held a large vase over her head and said, "I'll break this and tell mom you did it," she is truly my best friend.

November 5: I am thankful for flannel sheets because damn, its cold!

November 6: I am thankful for my Oscar Mayer. My partner in crime for the last 3 years. I'm not sure I would have made it through all of the insanity without him. He has made me laugh when I wanted to cry, and kept me going through migraines, divorce, and Lord knows what else :)

November 7: I am thankful that I live in a society where divorce is not only allowed, but accepted. I am a firm believer in “till death due us part,” but sometimes you have to stand up, and realize that you can't let someone who is ruining their life, ruin yours as well. People have a lot of excuses for why marriages fail, and I can tell you about 100 reasons why mine did. But in reality I am just thankful that I am able to walk away unscathed, and hold me head up high, knowing that I made the right decision, and my life will be better because of it.

November 8: I am thankful for text messaging. Man, what did we do without it?!?

November 9: I am thankful for good friends. They know who they are. Without them, life would be no fun, and quite boring. Friends make life worth living.

November 10: I am thankful for Aron, Jason and Jackson Komar. Aside from my dad, the 3 most important men in my life! Aron, always making me laugh with his crazy knock knock jokes and funny outbursts! I love his sweet cuddly side, and his sometimes mischievous and sneaky side. Jason, I was there to hold him the day he was born, and he has had me around his little finger since then! I love that scratchy little voice and his somewhat oblivious attitude toward the world. Being in Chicago and away from these 2 dudes was heart wrenching! And then there is Baby Jax...so special in every way! From the way he made his entrance into this world, to the cute little giggles he gives me when I go to get him at 6am. He is a perfect mix of both parents and I can't wait to see how his personality will develop into a mix of Matt, Gioia, Aron and Jason! I am so proud to be these boys Em-Way!

November 11: Today I am thankful for migraine medications. It has been a less than pleasant day, and it would have only been worse without them!

November 12: I am thankful for the men and women who give and have given of themselves to serve our great nation.

November 13: I am thankful for opportunity. You never know whats around the next corner, and you gotta keep on looking around those corners, especially when times get tough!

November 14: I'm so thankful for Dansko nursing clogs. They're the only reason I can stand on my feet for 8 to 12 hours a day for the last 10 years!

November 15: I am thankful for a place for Oscar and I to call home. It is so cold out there, and there are so many without homes. Despite an insane year of loosing nearly everything, I am so fortunate that I have amazing parents who allowed us to move in here after I left Chicago.

November 16: I am thankful for my car. I loooove that Hybrid :)

November 17: I am thankful for Cards against Humanity. A terrible, terrible card game...but oh so fun with a glass of wine and good friends!

November 18: I am thankful for YVFD. Being within the walls and amongst the amazing people of this department remind me of who I am, how far I have come, and the future. Years of memories, calls, and a place to live when I needed it the most! I miss those insane calls, late nights on the back porch, and endless hours spent with friends and brothers. It was good to be “home,” today in the 'Shire...even for a short time. I can't wait to be back for good!

November 19: I am thankful for peanut butter and jelly. My favorite food on the planet!

November 20: I am thankful for my own bed, you never know how good it feels until you can't sleep in it for a few days!

November 21: I am thankful for Initials, Inc. I was so torn on the whole idea of direct sales. I had seen Gioia doing so well in it, and others just ordering their start up kits and never doing much else with them. I've always felt that I could be good at it, just didn't know which company that I wanted to do it with. Since signing under Initials, I feel a little more confident, have some killer bags to show off(!!!) and have met some pretty amazing women who are always willing to help when I have (sometimes stupid) questions!!

November 22: I am thankful to be thankful. I have so much to be thankful, and there are so many people who do not. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!